2009 - A year of learning to like myself...

Happy New Year!

I thought that today of all days, was a good day to reflect on what 2009 meant to me. You see, for me, it was a year of amazing epiphanies and self discovery. In one stunning, life changing moment back in early January 2009, I instantly understood all of the wrong choices I had made in life, and why. As the months have passed, one epiphany has lead to another and to another. Each realization and discovery has had such an effect on me... like a balm upon my soul. I have literally felt like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. I am not who I was a year ago...

The most important realization has been that if I had just 'liked' myself, I would never have made choices that put me in harm's way. I would never have been okay with being treated so badly for so many years.

How absolutely, utterly simple. If you LIKE yourself, then you won't allow yourself to be put in positions that beat your spirit down...that batter and bruise your soul. If you learn to 'like yourself', then a magical insightfulness occurs. It instantly unlocks invisible, and unyielding doors in your life, and leads you in a new direction...

And, don't you see? I didn't 'know' that I was making choices for my life based on how I felt about myself. I understand now that I felt I didn't deserve good things, so I subconsciously made decisions that would make sure I didn't get them. I've come to realize that sometimes we are our own worst enemies and often, we will give ourselves what we think we deserve.

I also discovered this year that when you learn to like yourself, you literally become a better person. You begin to have a positive 'effect' on others. Life is about lessons. What better lesson to learn then to value yourself, and then teach others...

So, for 2010, I say... go take a look at yourself in the mirror. Don't look at your flaws. We all have them! Instead, focus on parts of you that you like. Maybe it's your eyes, or your lovely hair, or that cute dimple... And then, smile at yourself. Do this daily... a lot. Each time, try to find another nice thing about yourself. As your perception changes, you'll begin to look at yourself differently. Your 'view' will have been changed, and you're on your way to liking yourself.

And, if you are in an abusive situation... It is now more important then ever for you to gather your courage and learn to like yourself. I know how you feel. I know how lonely you are. I know how you have to keep people at arm's distance, because if they could see into your world they would be shocked and horrified beyond belief. I was in a nightmare for twenty-six years. Don't be me. There are no prizes for being a martyr. You will simply be a human being with a wounded soul. Don't do that to yourself. Don't do that to your children...

I'm thinking of writing a book about my life, and the lessons I've learned. I think I can help people by telling them my story. Maybe then, they'll be able to see their own lives with a new perception that might give them the power to make their own changes for a better life.

As for 2010, I plan on continuing to learn to love myself, endeavor to be a better person and work on my beloved glass. :)